Wednesday, December 19, 2012

This weekend

Why am I so excited for this weekend? Because I seriously miss these fools!!! And they will all be here Friday/Saturday! I can't wait! If my brother were able to be here it would be perfect... But I will settle for less than perfection. Having my family close makes it a little easier to breathe. Sigh... YAY!





Monday, December 17, 2012

Heartache

I don't remember where I was on Friday when I heard. But I remember the heartache and utter devastation I felt... And it wouldn't have mattered if it had only been one child. The fact that someone could enter into such a safe and happy space with such disregard for human life. It's unbelievable.

It's incomprehensible... Teenagers can be jerks... Not that it makes it better but i can begin to see (again, not that it makes it better) how someone could have such hatred for a group of teenagers or college students. But 6 year olds... Children who had barely begun to live. Who had no context for what was happening to them. No instinct to run or hide. It is so much more impossible to understand.

I have heard that it is suspected that this individual had some sort of mental illness. That might be true. But to me it holds no bearing on his accountability or his actions. Do we need to do a Better job in this country with understanding mental illness? Surely. But using that to excuse his actions, or make allowances is unacceptable.

In the wake of this tragedy I have also heard an awakening of arguments for more gun control... In some ways I have extremely mixed emotions in this area. I was raised by a man who's hobby is to collect firearms. He has some incredible peices. It is something that he enjoys. We grew up target shooting and by the time I was 8 I was a pretty good shot. I married a man who is a hunter. He has great respect for the animals he hunts and we eat everything that he kills. Our firearms are locked. And the ammunition is locked in a separate area. We strive to be responsible gun owners.

Historically, disarming a people has led to their downfall... It also has been shown To cause an increase in crimes committed with firearms. Because guess what? Criminals will still get their hands on them. And if you think that those columbine kids (who were using legally obtained firearms) wouldn't have gotten their hands on guns anyway, you are crazy. And should guns be unavailable somehow... Any idiot can go online and make a pipe bomb... The weapon is not the problem.

Does this mean I think everyday-joe-schmo needs a military grade automatic weapon? No... I don't. But I don't know how to accomplish that without starting down a slippery slope.

I refuse to let tragedy make me afraid. I sent my son to school today without fear. I know that he is as safe there as he will be anywhere else. And I know that each day, I send him into the world armed with my love and the knowledge that God loves him. I pray that he will be protected and should anything happen to him I would be devastated. But I hope it would not destroy my belief in the innate goodness of people or our basic rights...we can not let fear dictate our choices or we might just make devastating decisions that can not be reversed...

My thoughts and prayers are with the families of those children and heroic teachers... The first responders who had to witness that horror... And most especially our nation...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

K

I was looking back at the blog and realized that I haven't blogged much about K lately. We are at a new phase in life. He is gone all day at school and then he has homework and dinner... Then we get maybe an hour until bedtime. Other than weekends I don't see this kid much.

But let me tell you... He is shaping up to be pretty awesome if I do say so myself. He is an incredible big brother. He is smart and very technically minded. He loves Legos and is in the robotics club at school. For Christmas he wants a robot kit. He most definitely did not get that from me. (Although he comes by it honestly on both sides.). He does math in his head.

He is so spiritual it blows my mind. In the last week I have had two people from primary come and tell me how impressed they are with his knowledge of the scriptures. We were talking in the car Sunday about a story he read. "i was telling my teacher about the man who was a servant to the king and was teaching him the gospel and he chopped all the guys arms off. Man! I can't remember his name." And I was just about to say Alma the younger when he says "Ammon! That's the guy". Geez... I would have looked like a dummy.

He is so loving and sweet. He just wants to do what is right and to be loved. Obviously he isn't perfect. We have bad days. But he is coming out of the whining and crying all the time phase and turning into such an awesome young man.

It's so hard to believe he is the same tiny baby I brought home 8 years ago. I remember that first Christmas with him, I was reminded so often of our savior as a baby and his mother. What she must have felt. The love she had for that small helpless baby and the knowledge of the life that awaited him. It terrified me to be so young and responsible for this child. I knew hardship and pain would find him and that has been the hardest part of being his mom so far... The pain you can't take away. I have heard it said that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body, and thats a pretty accurate description. i am grateful to Mary for giving her heart to the world. A world that is not always grateful for that sacrifice.

And I'm so grateful for my own awesome not so little boy.







Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Hangin' low

I carried K and A right in the middle of my body. (With the exception of Ks butt jammed up in my ribs the last few weeks.) when I started to feel them move it was always pretty much front (or back) and center.

But little C fights dirty... Pretty much every jab is below the belt... Right in my bladder. Which means I pee all the time. But it's fun to feel her getting stronger. Hopefully she will move her punches up soon.

In other news... Since she has been getting stronger, Daddy got to feel her acrobatics for the first time last night. YAY BABY!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Pregnant feet

The latest into the winter I have ever been pregnant is Nov. 18. And if you know me you can guess I pushed my flip flop wearing days right up to delivery day! I have not ever had to bend over a pregnant belly to secure shoes to my feet.

But guess what? It's December and ITS COLD HERE!!!

I am finding it super sucky to put shoes or even socks on to keep these tootsies warm. Given that I still have almost 4 months left I know this is only going to get worse. I had a pair of sketchers slip on shoes that had a nice tread and were very comfy but they have seen the last of their days. So I got these beauties in the mail today... Socks and shoes in one and this mammas happy! Thank you sketchers!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Gratitudes

This year we have been both greatly tried and greatly blessed.  I have been reminded that from great trial can come the greatest blessings.  And while in the thick of it I might not have always been grateful, In hindsight I cant help but be.

I am grateful for:

10.  My health.  During IVF I was physically tried greatly.  It was more difficult than I imagined, and I was not sure if we would even get the outcome we desired.  But when I could breath again, walk again, and the was pain free, I could realize how healthy and strong I really was!  What a blessing!

9.  My home.  So many struggle to keep a roof over their heads.  We are blessed in this regard.  We have a beautiful house that is so full of love and laughter it has become our home.

8.  My Friends.  I have such incredible friends.  From those I see rarely but when I do,  its as though no time has passed at all.  To those who support, love, and bless me on a daily basis.

7.  My siblings.  I cant say enough.  I have great siblings.  We are outspoken and loud.  We fight, we laugh, we forgive, we dont always forget, but we get over it.   They are funny and bright and I adore them.

6.  My in-laws.  I married an amazing man.  He could only have become so with the help of the good people who raised him.  They have taken me into their large brood and loved me despite my flaws.

5.  My parents.  I was raised to work, love, have faith, and be strong.  I never doubted the strength of their love for me and it has always sustained and inspired me.

4.  My children.  Man they are awesome.   They are the greatest things I have ever done with my life.  They also inspire me.  As well as challenge me.  I cant begin to imagine my life any other way than with the 2.5 spirits growing within my home and love.

3.  C.  Each of our children has come at greater and greater cost physically, emotionally and financially.  (and scientifically... lol!)   Some might think we are crazy.  We have two beautiful children.  Why isnt that enough?  But I felt her spirit waiting to come to us.  And as she moves inside of me and grows stronger each day, I feel more and more grateful to have the blessing of being her mother.

2.  My husband.  He is also truly awesome!  He is a good provider for our family.  He loves our children with an incredible patience and passion.  He does the same for me, for I require a great deal of patience!  ;)  He loved God and is a faithful servant to Him.  He brings the light of the Gospel into our home on a daily basis and provides an incredible example to our children.  I love him more today than ever.

1.  And finally the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I am blessed by the minute by having this in my life.  The  members are certainly flawed, but the Gospel is perfect.  The love of my Savior is perfect.  I am daily reminded of His love for me.  For that I could never be grateful enough. 

I hope we can all truly grateful this holiday season.  Let us take the blessings we have and let them inspire us to bless the lives of others!  I love you all!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

It's a...

We had our ultrasound Friday and got another peek at the baby.  I REALLY thought it was a boy.  Not sure why... Just a feeling.  But as soon as the tech zoomed in on the parts, even I could tell it was a girl.  The three little lines and the absence of the little boy parts was obvious.  A was extatic! As you can probably imagine.

  It was really hard to get good images of her because she was moving sooooo much.  None of the 2D ones were that great but he did get this shot which was pretty cool. She is smiling and sticking out her tonge.  What a cutie!

I had hoped to be able to post her name.  We have pretty much decided but have not done the final vote... Hopefully soon though.  I hate knowing she's a girl and not being able to call her her name.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

A Presidential Election Year: the good the bad and the ugly...

I have decided that a presidential election year brings out the good the bad and the ugly in people...

I have seen allllllll over Facebook, various derogatory campaigns from both sides.

I found Myself reading one today that put down democrats as a whole, and my first instinct was to laugh. Initially I thought, how true! And then I found myself slightly ashamed to have thought that such a blanket statement could be applied to a group of people. I HATE it when people do that to me.

I love that people are so passionate this year about this election. I have strived to be accepting of others viewpoints and not try to force my own. I honor the right of others to seek out truth and vote as their conscience dictates. No matter who or what they vote for.

I am grateful that there is a candidate this year who I feel good about voting for and I pray that, no matter the outcome, our nation will be blessed and that the man charged with running it will be blessed as well. I think that is the best we all can do.

So happy Election Day! No matter who you voted for... I'm proud of you! ;)

Friday, November 2, 2012

Some mornings

Some mornings are so good. This morning I was laying in bed while Daddy was getting the kids breakfast. Everyone was happy and chatty. I heard A singing a song to Daddy from one of her movies. Then she started telling him about all the things that make her happy. "And I just LOVE rainbows daddy!"

Some days are hard but sweet everyday tender mercies of moments like these make it all worthwhile.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Yes please!

Homemade applesauce and provolone cheese for dessert... A nice long soak in the tub... AND the hubby put the kids to bed... Yes please!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Playroom unveiled

Without the laptop it's hard to put pictures in order and put text after each... So I'll just talk and then you can look through the pictures. :)

 I'm mostly done!! Yay! And the best part is that it cost very little to do this room. I had to buy materials to make the beanbags, paint and the new storage bins but everything else was already ours and was either repurposed or repainted. LOTS of repainting. I still want to make something for them to hang their art creations on above the chalkboard.  Then there is the shelf that is a little empty.  But those little details can be done as we go along.  I also created the abc print on the shelf.

 Head start apparently rubbed off on me because we have three basic areas. (Head start has four but we dont have the block area) First, the house area. Girly, yes, but really the girl spends the most time there so I feel ok about that. We had everything here and then I just spray painted the drawers for the play food, jewelry and baby clothes. I love this little space!

 Then the art/game area. The pink and white bins have movies, crayons, colored pencils, and art supplies. Then our old bookshelf turned entertainment center. I had to back it with beadboard and reenforce it with a 2x4 to screw the tv mount into. The tv is attached to an arm that extends out and then it can swivel. The game cube and roku are stashed there too. Then there is a chalkboard I made. I LOVE IT! So do the kids. A dollar store basket screwed to the wall works to hold the chalk. And then of course a little table and chair. I kind of wanted to get rid of this and get a cute brightly colored ikea table and chairs but it wasn't in the budget so I might paint these. We will see. 

Then the toy area. Miss A's dollhouse and the new toy bins are here. K and a have all their toys stashed here. Although the pirate ships often end up back in kadens room with the Legos. That was the one toy I banned from the playroom. I want to try to keep them isolated to keep future baby from choking if possible. We also have two framed board games that the kids can pull off the wall and play. The peices, along with other kid games, are all in the entertainment center. And of course the new bean bags! We all love the new playroom! The kids play with their toys more now that it is all organized in ways that make more sense and make it easier to play with them. Part of me will miss having a nursery for this baby, but it is sooooo worth it! The kids bedrooms are almost always clean now, and its actually easier to keep the playroom clean. If you have an extra bedroom I highly recomend this! Is worth the sacrifice. I wish I had done it a long time ago! Enjoy the pictures. :)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

A little inspiration

Do you know my little sister Chelsea?  Because you should. She is awesome. So is my other sister and my brother.  But this post was inspired by the baby.  She finally updated her blog today with THIS POST.  Before I go on head over there and read it.

Did you read it? Pretty inspiring right? Makes you want to do better? It did me...

There are obviously differences, but I want to join her in making some changes.

1.
Go to bed early and wake up early.
I suck at this.  Being pregnant I have been going to bed early but waking up early is not my strong point. Wen I was working I had to get up early for work and I really liked the routine it gave our days.  But since being back home I usually head back to bed for a while after getting K out the door for school and breakfast for everyone.  This goal will tie in with the last one.

2.
Find a hobby that will keep my hands and body busy.
I think most people are aware that I have a few good hobbies.  So I will continue to nurture those.

3.
Make and eat more healthy meals.
 I have a growing family and we are on a pretty good schedule, and James is home every night for dinner which means I need to make healthy nutritious meals for my kids and husband.  But during the day, I often neglect my own needs nutritionally while caring for my family.  I pour the kids a bowl of cereal and cut up a banana and then don't eat breakfast myself.  So I need to do better there.

4.
Involve The Lord every day in every way.
I have to say... I married a pretty incredible man in this respect.  He makes sure we have daily family prayer, reminds me about our prayers together even when I have almost fallen asleep,  and leads us in reading scriptures as a family daily.   Honestly, he is the driving force behind all these activities.  I like to think if he didn't that I would but hopefully I won't ever have to find out.  I have always felt myself to be a very spiritual person.  Before I had kids I was probably more outwardly so.  I feel like certain things have fallen by the wayside.
I remember as a young woman I would get up early for seminary (let's be honest... My mom got me up). But as I would trudge down the stairs at that horrible hour of the morning my incredible mother would almost always be at the table studying her scriptures.  I don't think that my children can say they have ever found me in such a position.  I need to be the example to them that my mother was to me..  So in  conjunction with getting up earlier every day I'm going to bust out those scriptures every weekday morning.  (I gotta sleep in on Saturdays!)

Chels is going to give it thirty days... I'm going to do the same.  I'm sure we can all improve in at least one area.  Anyone else in? Em... We gonna make it a sista goal?

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

14.5 weeks

And all is well. Heard a great little heartbeat and I'm measuring right on.

The little bugger gave me quite a scare though... After about 5 minutes with the Doppler the nurse said if she couldn't find a heartbeat they would send me for an ultrasound. Just as I was about to break into tears we heard the sweet whoosh whoosh of the baby's beautiful heart.

My first two pregnancies were pretty easy. With mr. K I was HUGE... Like planetary. But other than that no biggie. With ms. A I had a little trouble late in the pregnancy with my right hip popping out occasionally. (A present from a horse riding accident a couple years before) but other than that no morning sickness, no horrible pain or constant heartburn or breast tenderness or anything.

This baby is throwing me through the ringer... I have everything possible! From very early on. Although I'm not gaining much weight which is kinda nice. Is this a sign of this little persons personality?

Regardless of the price I and my body pay, I am grateful to pay it.

For this child, I have prayed and cried and sacrificed and if it takes a little more to get this child safely into this mortal existence...Well then... I will give it.

(Although I can't promise not to complain sometimes... Just remember how I really feel. ;)

Monday, September 24, 2012

Instilling the gospel...

This post is not about what you think it's about.

In church yesterday A was playing quietly with a Barbie during the last talk.  I didn't even think she was paying attention.  Brother Orr said that he wanted to instill the gospel in his children and grandchildren.  Suddenly A bursts out, not quietly I might add...

"That is so bad! We don't steal from the gospel! It will make Heavenly Father mad!"

In her defense he did pronounce it "in-steeling." It gave the lovely women in front of us a good laugh though and at least we know she knows stealing is bad.  Love that girl.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Edelweiss

I LOVE the Sound of Music.

It is my absolute favorite movie. I think I've seen it a hundred times. And every time I watch it this scene gets to me. It's a beautiful song but the time period it's set in and his little monologue before hand make it so poignant and sweet.

So here I am on a thursday morning folding laundry bawling my eyes out while I watch this movie. If you haven't seen it you really need to!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Great Debate

We had a discussion lat night at dinner. We were talking about baby names and there is no agreement. The names I like are "lame." the ones Daddy likes are weird or boring... (truely... He wanted to name K Wally or Chip)  A is adamant that the baby be named Ariel since there is no way we are having a boy according to her... And k like names from his pirate books.

I don't see a consensus happening any time soon. Lol.

Monday, September 17, 2012

The complete sheet

Bumperless crib bedding... Love it or hate it?

 I love bumpers because they are so dang cute. I have had them for both my kids. Are they safe? Probably. I think bumper less is a safety fad. But making bumpers is a HUGE pain in the butt. So... If we need to make bedding this time around it will be bumperless. The problem is that in looking at all the options, they are not cute.

 Till I came across this site.  But they only have a couple options and I'm not in love with any of them.  But I do love that you get the illusion of a bumper.

So when I decided to make my nephews crib bedding I thought this would be a great time to try making one.  I have never worked with piping before... It kinda scares me.  But I found out it isn't all that bad. AND  I learned a few things for next time.  I should be a pro now!

I also made a crib skirt and quilt.  Hopefully pictures to come.




Thursday, September 6, 2012

2nd grade!

How handsome is this kid?! I can't believe he is in second grade! He is such a good, kind, and responsible little man. We are very proud of you K!

Monday, September 3, 2012

Little Nubbins

We got another look at the baby on Friday! What a difference 2 weeks makes! The little one was even waving its little nubbins around. It was really great to see its little heartbeat because I really don't feel pregnant so I was getting a little nervous. Everything looked great though so they are sending my records to my regular OB. Which means I don't have to drive to Boise anymore! Yay!!! 
9 weeks down... 31 to go. Doh! I should just not do that. ;)

Friday, August 17, 2012

Our beautiful little bean!

The big day arrived! Finally!  The verdict is one beautiful little heartbeat fluttering away.  I'm not disappointed in the least.  I know that our lives and this little life will work out the way they are supposed to.  So look out world! Here he/she comes!
 (ps... What do you think? I have my suspicions but you can vote on the right side.)


The arrow is pointing right at the baby. It looks like two light colored blurbs and the large opening on the right of the baby is the heart chamber open... Pretty dang cool! I've never had such a clear ultrasound so early. Science is miraculous!

Friday, August 10, 2012

The garden and feeling annoyed...

I'm going to start with my venting and then move on to cuter things.

The last month or so has obviously been super crazy for us.  I feel very blessed thoug because I have great friends that have helped out with meals, or laundry, or just taking the kids so they aren't so bored.  

If you know me you know I'm a social person.  When I was working I discovered something... It was really nice to have friends outside of church. I love the gospel and I love the people in my ward but sometimes it's a lot of drama. So since returning home full time I've been reintroduced to said drama and it's really frustrating me. 

I'll be friends with pretty much anyone who wants to be my friend but I'm over the days when I was willing to put all the work into relationships.  You want to hang out? Give me a call... Dont just mope and be sad that no one calls you.  We are all busy grown up women.  It's ok to have friends you get especially along with.  No one should hate you for that.  It's not ok to be unkind in your exclusivity.  I hope I have never been that.   

Long story short... I love pretty much everyone... You want to be friends?  Come on over. 

Now on to cuter things.  Our garden is coming in.  A little bit anyway. :) and it is delicious.  Check out this cute thing eating up come jellybean tomatoes and cucumbers with salt.  I love having fresh fruits and veggies to snack on!  And she looks oh so good doing it!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Oh baby!

Four days past our embryo transfer I took a pee test... It was distinctly positive! We didn't tell people but I kept taking them and they kept getting darker... We got final confirmation Monday that yes...

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!

Im 5 weeks along at this point.  It feels super surreal... Once again we have an almost four year old and are going back to life with a newborn... Or two.  There is wisdom in having kids closer together.  You don't get used to the calmer diaper free days.  But bring it on!

I wasn't sick with either of my other kids and so far this is no different.  I am EXHAUSTED though.  Being pregnant at 29 is a lot different than it was at 20... And we are just starting.  I'm anxious to see my little bean/beans in a couple of weeks.  I just want to know what we are dealing with and see a heartbeat.  I am hoping that both took.  Not because I want twins (although it would be nice after all this) but because they are real to me.  Even though they were only a teeny tiny group of cells they felt like mine.  It would feel like a loss I think if only one made it.

So... We wait.  Again...  We'll keep ya posted!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Embryos 2

These beauties are the best of the best! We ended up with 5 embryos that were viable. These two are tucked in now and so we wait.
In about ten days we will know if any took and then about 20 days after that we find out how many. :D

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Embryos

Sunday we had our egg harvest. They retrieved 26 eggs from me. (way more than we were expecting. We were expecting 10-15) Of those 26, 19 fertilized.

A little about this process... There are two methods ICSI is where they inject the sperm directly into the egg. Usually this is done when one or both partners has some defficiancy. Both of us had good quality retrievals so we did option two. This is where they put half a million sperm in with each egg and let them work it out. 19 is a great percentage for this process.

I got a call this morning with an embryo report. We have 18 embryos still progressing! Also great odds. Of these 18, they grade them in order to decide which to use. We don't have any grade 1. Bt she said that is pretty average. We have 7 grade 2. 2 five cell, 2 six cell and 3 8 cell. The rest are grade three. This doesn't mean they aren't viable, it means they might be a little fragmented or not progressing as fast.

Since everything looks so good we will be doing a day 5 transfer. That means that on Friday they will take the best looking embryos (although they will be at the blastocyst stage by then) and transfer custody to my uterus! So far so good! If you are curious about this and want to see pictures of what this all looks like here are two links.

http://http://www.ivf.net/ivf/embryo-development-o2591.htmlhttp://http://www.advancedfertility.com/embryoquality.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

California Girls

I don't know how to do this in the app on my phone, but here are some pics from our trip to Cali. We had a GREAT time!
The first pic is of a trying to kiss her uncle Dallen on the lips. He thinks it's gross which is why we keep telling her to try... But he is sneaky!
We hit the beach where Daddy fell in love with boogie boarding and k discovered billies. We can't remember how we started calling sand crabs billies but it has stuck. I think he could have spent HOURS catching them. :)
We also got to take the kids to their first Angels game! Being from Anaheim, you HAVE to be an Angels fan!

Best part of the trip? We got my moms old wallpaper down and repainted the downstairs! She got her red wall! Yay!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

A little about the process...

For those who are interested... A little about the process. I have Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. 
AKA: PCOS. 

What does this mean?  A lot, but long story short... Instead of producing one egg a month I form lots of little cysts.  This means that no one follicle ever gets large enough to rupture and produce a cute little baby.  :)

Right now we have been going through Ovulation Induction.  This means that I give myself a shot every day of FSH.  That forces my body to produce a lot of follicles in the hope that we have one or two that take off and get to be the right size.  

In a normal woman, this is what an ultrasound of an ovulating ovary would look like...
This is what I look like right now...
This is not what you want for a normal OI cycle, so guess what?  We are converting over to IVF... (lots of acronyms floating around, I know...)  

Now I will go in for an ultrasound every day to monitor me until they are ready to harvest my eggies.  At which point we get to make some petri dish babies.  Wish us luck!  More about the process as we go.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Big things to come... We hope

This post is for our family and friends. We are beginning another round of infertility treatments. We have had two failed cycles in the last year. We have not been making our attempts public this time around because we wanted a little privacy in the process this time, but I have come to realize how vital it is to let the people we love fast and pray for us. I have felt that strength in the past and have missed it.

This cycle holds a lot of uncertainty for us... It's a big risk financially and emotionally. Please keep us in your prayers and if you feel so inclined, fast for us and put us on the rolls of your temple.

As the month progresses, we ask that people not constantly ask how it's going. We will keep you apprised as we feel we can. And mostly, you can assume that no news is not good news. But even in that event, know that your love and support means the world to us and helps carry us through the failures.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Life aint easy.... it aint ever easy

Things have worked out for me.  I cant lie.  I am pretty happy.  
There are people who have said that I "cant understand" various aspects of their life because mine has been so easy.  In the past I haven't known what to say to that.  Has my life been easy?  Am I a lazy slacker who things always just worked out for?  Seriously?  People think that?  A friend of mine recently helped me put into words how I feel about this, and I'd like to share it in case anyone is interested.

Maybe I was blessed with a sense of direction some people lack, but I knew the life I wanted and put myself on a path to obtain that life and worked hard for it. But to say that I have had it easy demeans me.  It demeans the small and sometimes difficult choices I have made along the way in my life that have bought the happiness I have now.  

This is to say nothing of the pain and heartache I have been through in my life that is private.  So has my life been easy?  No, life aint easy... not for me, or you, or joe shmo next door.  But we choose the life we want.   Every day we choose it.  Some days I choose a better life than others, but I hope that in ten years I can look back and realize as I do today that I have picked a good one.   

I loved Elder Uchtdorfs talk on Sunday.  It touched me and made me want to be better.  He said "I imagine that every person on earth has been affected in some way by the destructive spirit of contention, resentment and revenge. Perhaps there are even times when we recognize this spirit in ourselves. When we feel hurt, angry or envious it is quite easy to judge other people, often assigning dark motives to their actions in order to justify our own feelings of resentment. Of course, we know this is wrong." 

 I have love and empathy for those who have difficulty and pain in their lives.  I don't mean to demean or trivialize their life, and pray that they can do the same for me.  If you want an "easy" life, go and get it.  You might find its not so easy, but its sooooo worth it! 
 (to find out how check out THIS WEBSITE!)

Monday, March 26, 2012

Do you watch me?

Do I need to play catch up? Yes, but first I need to remember this gem.

A,
We were playing with your dolls and I put the mommy in the rocking chair while the babies slept. "why is she there mom?" "because sometimes mommies watch over their babies while they sleep" "do you do that to me?" "yep" "good!"
Then as I tucked you in at night you pointed to the rocking chair and commanded me to "sit and watch me sleep."
Know this little one... I always will... You may not feel that I always understand you and I'm sure I won't. But I will always be watching for you. From the moment your heart began to beat beneath mine. I will be your watchman.

Friday, January 20, 2012

catch up

The next four posts are new... enjoy!

The three week vacation

For the holidays we ended up taking a three week vacation.  The first week, we spent christmas in rupert.  I dont have too many pictures of that adventure.  But we had a lovely christmas.  The next week we headed back to Cache Valley because Aunt Chelsea was coming up as well as Nana and Papa.

Since we were driving south we decided to meet up with Erin. She suggested going to the Treehouse Museum in Ogden.  That place is AWESOME!  If you live in the area you must go there.  The kids LOVED it!  They have lots of areas where you can do different interactive things.  They even have a medieval area with dress ups and a stage, life size chess and a bunch of other things.  The kids spent most of the time there.

Addy even got to participate in a play.  She was a rabbit in the three little pigs.
Then we headed to Cache Valley. We had a delightful time.  Mom and Dad and I met up with Neil (one of dads BFFs) for dinner at this place.  It makes me laugh... logans only rootbeer brewpub... lol!
After that we came home, picked up Daddy and headed to California.  While there A got to hang our with Scarlett!  She is this little cutie pictured below.  (also known as my brothers daughter)  

Other highlights of our trip are posted below...

A gets to build a bear!  This is a tradition we started.  Three means building a bear.
Giving her a heart.
Giving her a bath
And of course she needs princess attire!
Meet "Tota"  A picked out the name all by herself!
K at the LEGO store.
Then we hit up the aquarium.
This diver really liked A... he kept waving at her.
lunch break at Bubba Gump... this place was probably one of the best restaurants I have ever eaten at.
Feeding the birds.  I dont know what happened to the picture of K, but he had one on his arm!  This picture is right before it bit A because she was trying to grab it... sigh...
K found a white peice of paper and figured out that if you moved it back and forth the seal would follow it.  This is another child trying it out.
We went up to Ft. Rosecrans so that we could visit Great Grandpas Grave as well as let K do the Jr. Ranger program at Cabrillo natl. monument.
Nana got a year membership at the Discovery Center.  This place was awesome.  The kids LOVED it.
the pin wall... this is K in case you cant tell...
K and A
in this cave was a video of a dinosaur.  A kept running in and out pretending to be afraid... it was hilarious!
A and K both got to lay on a bed of nails!  K was nervous, but true to form, A just wanted to give it a shot... no healthy amount of fear in that girl...
And last but not least!  Emily and I went rock climbing at a rock gym.  They had these "caves" that were pitch black you could try out... you had to army crawl through them and it was pretty crazy but super fun!  Must do again!