Wednesday, December 19, 2012

This weekend

Why am I so excited for this weekend? Because I seriously miss these fools!!! And they will all be here Friday/Saturday! I can't wait! If my brother were able to be here it would be perfect... But I will settle for less than perfection. Having my family close makes it a little easier to breathe. Sigh... YAY!

Monday, December 17, 2012


I don't remember where I was on Friday when I heard. But I remember the heartache and utter devastation I felt... And it wouldn't have mattered if it had only been one child. The fact that someone could enter into such a safe and happy space with such disregard for human life. It's unbelievable.

It's incomprehensible... Teenagers can be jerks... Not that it makes it better but i can begin to see (again, not that it makes it better) how someone could have such hatred for a group of teenagers or college students. But 6 year olds... Children who had barely begun to live. Who had no context for what was happening to them. No instinct to run or hide. It is so much more impossible to understand.

I have heard that it is suspected that this individual had some sort of mental illness. That might be true. But to me it holds no bearing on his accountability or his actions. Do we need to do a Better job in this country with understanding mental illness? Surely. But using that to excuse his actions, or make allowances is unacceptable.

In the wake of this tragedy I have also heard an awakening of arguments for more gun control... In some ways I have extremely mixed emotions in this area. I was raised by a man who's hobby is to collect firearms. He has some incredible peices. It is something that he enjoys. We grew up target shooting and by the time I was 8 I was a pretty good shot. I married a man who is a hunter. He has great respect for the animals he hunts and we eat everything that he kills. Our firearms are locked. And the ammunition is locked in a separate area. We strive to be responsible gun owners.

Historically, disarming a people has led to their downfall... It also has been shown To cause an increase in crimes committed with firearms. Because guess what? Criminals will still get their hands on them. And if you think that those columbine kids (who were using legally obtained firearms) wouldn't have gotten their hands on guns anyway, you are crazy. And should guns be unavailable somehow... Any idiot can go online and make a pipe bomb... The weapon is not the problem.

Does this mean I think everyday-joe-schmo needs a military grade automatic weapon? No... I don't. But I don't know how to accomplish that without starting down a slippery slope.

I refuse to let tragedy make me afraid. I sent my son to school today without fear. I know that he is as safe there as he will be anywhere else. And I know that each day, I send him into the world armed with my love and the knowledge that God loves him. I pray that he will be protected and should anything happen to him I would be devastated. But I hope it would not destroy my belief in the innate goodness of people or our basic rights...we can not let fear dictate our choices or we might just make devastating decisions that can not be reversed...

My thoughts and prayers are with the families of those children and heroic teachers... The first responders who had to witness that horror... And most especially our nation...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


I was looking back at the blog and realized that I haven't blogged much about K lately. We are at a new phase in life. He is gone all day at school and then he has homework and dinner... Then we get maybe an hour until bedtime. Other than weekends I don't see this kid much.

But let me tell you... He is shaping up to be pretty awesome if I do say so myself. He is an incredible big brother. He is smart and very technically minded. He loves Legos and is in the robotics club at school. For Christmas he wants a robot kit. He most definitely did not get that from me. (Although he comes by it honestly on both sides.). He does math in his head.

He is so spiritual it blows my mind. In the last week I have had two people from primary come and tell me how impressed they are with his knowledge of the scriptures. We were talking in the car Sunday about a story he read. "i was telling my teacher about the man who was a servant to the king and was teaching him the gospel and he chopped all the guys arms off. Man! I can't remember his name." And I was just about to say Alma the younger when he says "Ammon! That's the guy". Geez... I would have looked like a dummy.

He is so loving and sweet. He just wants to do what is right and to be loved. Obviously he isn't perfect. We have bad days. But he is coming out of the whining and crying all the time phase and turning into such an awesome young man.

It's so hard to believe he is the same tiny baby I brought home 8 years ago. I remember that first Christmas with him, I was reminded so often of our savior as a baby and his mother. What she must have felt. The love she had for that small helpless baby and the knowledge of the life that awaited him. It terrified me to be so young and responsible for this child. I knew hardship and pain would find him and that has been the hardest part of being his mom so far... The pain you can't take away. I have heard it said that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body, and thats a pretty accurate description. i am grateful to Mary for giving her heart to the world. A world that is not always grateful for that sacrifice.

And I'm so grateful for my own awesome not so little boy.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Hangin' low

I carried K and A right in the middle of my body. (With the exception of Ks butt jammed up in my ribs the last few weeks.) when I started to feel them move it was always pretty much front (or back) and center.

But little C fights dirty... Pretty much every jab is below the belt... Right in my bladder. Which means I pee all the time. But it's fun to feel her getting stronger. Hopefully she will move her punches up soon.

In other news... Since she has been getting stronger, Daddy got to feel her acrobatics for the first time last night. YAY BABY!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Pregnant feet

The latest into the winter I have ever been pregnant is Nov. 18. And if you know me you can guess I pushed my flip flop wearing days right up to delivery day! I have not ever had to bend over a pregnant belly to secure shoes to my feet.

But guess what? It's December and ITS COLD HERE!!!

I am finding it super sucky to put shoes or even socks on to keep these tootsies warm. Given that I still have almost 4 months left I know this is only going to get worse. I had a pair of sketchers slip on shoes that had a nice tread and were very comfy but they have seen the last of their days. So I got these beauties in the mail today... Socks and shoes in one and this mammas happy! Thank you sketchers!