Sunday, February 10, 2013

Bed rest chronicles #3

My love language is time/service. I'm not big on letter writing or emails. Mostly because I'm forgetful. I suck at thinking of gifts most of the time, unless its something I make. (Again... Time/service). And while I think I am affectionate with my family... I don't really go around hugging everyone.

If you are important to me. You will get my time and service. I will visit you and do things for you to show my love. Because I show people they are important to me in this way... It's also how I perceive that I am important to other people.

Bedrest has been interesting in this way. I don't usually need anything from others and spend most of my time not dwelling on it. But I have a lot of time on my hands lately, as you might guess. It has been surprising to see who shows up. People who I never knew thought twice about me have come to visit, or help pick up, or brought food and a multitude of other little acts of love. There are some who I thought would rally with me to keep me company, who I have not seen at all.

And then there are the no surprise friends. They show up and hang out on my couch chatting. Bring me treats to cheer me up. Call to see if I need something from Walmart when they are headed there. Take my child so she can have a break from the monotony of a mother who sits on the couch all day. I count my blessings daily for ALL my friends. But most especially these. They make it a little easier to get through the day.

I have learned over the last few years that not everyone shows their love the same way. And the way I show it might not always be perceived as love. In learning this, I have tried to be patient with those who show that they care in other ways. Sometimes you have to look hard for the ways in which people show you that you are important to them. If that is the way they communicate, then I need to learn how to be better at communicating that way.

If someone uses their words, but doesn't invest time. To me, that looks like they don't care, but maybe they just aren't wired that way. So I need to learn to accept that and communicate with them in their way. Because if I never use words of affirmation and only spend time serving them... They may never understand that they are important to me.

But i digress... (This is the social scientist in me.) I'm surviving bedrest so far. I'm sooooo grateful it isn't "strict" and hopefully it will stay that way. I'm still having contractions that break through the meds some days but they aren't like they were before. On those days I end up in bed most of the day. But since I take more meds those days I sleep more so they go by pretty fast.

4 more weeks! :)

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